3/7 Tired Tuesday

It's only Tuesday and I already feel knocked down. 

Work is so hectic. I seriously wonder every single day, how long will I be able to put up with this intense stress?

Today at lunch my ex coworker came to visit me. It was an hour-long reunion, but it was still nice to see her again. Can't believe how much I had actually depended on her. It really is a pity that a talented and experienced person like her is currently unemployed. That one hour actually had me thinking again too - what could possibly be there for me to do outside of this company? That famous quote from 미생 comes into mind again: Work is hell, but outside is a jungle.

Last night I stayed up till 2 a.m. fixing this blog and writing the very first posting. Even after going into bed, I stayed awake for quite some time. Thoughts kept popping up, about what I should post where and how I should categorize this place... and there was the coffee that I had drank at 11 p.m. as well.

Recently, I have been listening to Audible for.. over a month actually. The book I'm listening to is Grit, by Angela Duckworth. I had found her TED talk really inspiring, so when I had finally decided to get my free 1-month trial service at Audible, I picked her book with no hesitation. (Well, to be honest, I kinda wanted to go for Aziz Ansari's book.) Little did I know back then, that Grit is actually a really long book, and that it is actually quite difficult. I couldn't finish it in time, so now I am a paid user of Audible. Now that I am paying, I just might as well get Aziz Ansari's book as well...

Today when commuting to work, I listened to the book after quite some interval. The section I listened to was about grit parenting, and how it does not always mean giving in to the child's requests. I thought of my parents. Were they too generous? Did they not push me enough so that I could become grittier? Well, blaming them won't do anything anyway. 

I am so not ready to become a parent. I realize that almost everyday these days.